jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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