I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
