I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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