fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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