Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
