its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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