my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
