it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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