508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
