It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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