u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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