at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
