quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
