Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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