I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
