She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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