i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
