Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
