So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
