Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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