His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
