i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize