mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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