watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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