Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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