How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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