i think i have herpe
just one?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
where are you?
Hypothermia
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
