I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize