We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your penis caused this!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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