is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
