the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
