You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
