is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
