do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
