So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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