i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am available for nakedness
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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