totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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