if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
