The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
