His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
