Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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