I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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