Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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