i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
