Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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