Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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