Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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