im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize