My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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