I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
