You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
