she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
