Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
