Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
