Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
