I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
