i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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