On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
