Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
sex in a hospital.. check
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
