i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
