We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
