There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
